Why Can't I Sleep Even When I'm Tired?

Why Can’t I Sleep at Night Even When I’m Tired?

It’s one of the most searched sleep questions online—and perhaps one of the most painful to live with.

You’re exhausted. You’ve done everything "right." And still… night after night, you lie awake. Tired but wired.

So why does this happen? Let’s explore the deeper layers.

The Surface-Level Causes

Sometimes the answer is physical or environmental:

•  Irregular sleep schedules (shift work, jet lag)
•  Blue light exposure before bed
•  Too much caffeine or alcohol 
•  Poor sleep hygiene (no wind-down time, stimulating activities at night)

All of these can play a role—but for many, they’re not the full story.

If you’ve tried addressing these and still can’t sleep, it’s time to look deeper.

The Hidden Causes of ‘Tired but Wired’

Most people stuck in the “tired but wired” loop are living with an overstimulated or dysregulated nervous system.

In other words, your body doesn’t feel safe enough to let go—even when your mind is begging for rest.

Here’s what could be happening under the surface:

• Unprocessed Stress or Emotion

Your system may be holding on to grief, anger, fear, or sadness that you haven’t had the time or support to feel. These emotions don’t just disappear—they lodge themselves in the body.

• High Sensitivity

About 15–20% of the population (and animal species!) are born with a finely tuned nervous system. In nature, these highly sensitive beings are essential to survival—they’re the first to sense danger and alert the group.

But in today’s overstimulating world, this trait—when not understood or honored—can lead to overwhelm, hypervigilance, and insomnia.

A Trauma-Informed Lens – For Everyone

When people hear “trauma,” they often think only of extreme events—abuse, violence, loss. But trauma isn’t defined by what happened.
It’s defined by how alone we felt with what happened.

Many who say, “I had a good childhood,” may still carry invisible wounds.
Perhaps they felt scared but had no one to turn to.
Perhaps sadness wasn’t safe to express.
Perhaps their sensitivity was misunderstood or ignored.

That too is trauma. And it shapes the nervous system just as powerfully.

At Project Pure, we honor both “big T” and “small t” trauma.
Because in truth, everyone carries stories beneath the surface.
And until those stories are seen and felt, the nervous system may keep the body alert—even in the quiet of night.

This is the heart of Deep Release Therapy (DRT):
Gently guiding you back to those early experiences, discovering the beliefs that formed in those moments, and helping your system finally release the grip of the past. 

Subconscious Conditioning

If you grew up in a high-stress environment, your body may have learned that being on alert = survival. Sleep then becomes threatening, even if you logically want it.

What Helps?

Instead of asking, “How do I fix this?” try asking:

“What does my nervous system need to feel safe enough to rest?”

Here’s where we start:

•  Daily nervous system regulation (meditation, grounding, vagal toning)
•  Creating consistent rhythms (light in the morning, calming rituals at night)
•  Emotional expression (grief, anger, sadness—all welcome)
•  Healing from the root (deep release work, self-trust and compassion, reconnection)

Your body wants to sleep. It just needs the right conditions—ones that signal: You are safe now. 

And that’s where true healing begins.

"The healing begins the moment you stop trying to fix yourself and start holding yourself."

Annelies x

P.S. If you would like to learn more about the program 'Overcoming Insomnia' then please join our mailing list.