Practical Tools for Anxiety: Six Ways to Support Your Nervous System

When people come to see me for anxiety, they often want to know what they can actually do when their nervous system becomes activated. There are countless anxiety tools available online, from breathing exercises and meditation to grounding techniques and distraction. Many can be useful. But rather than collecting more techniques, I prefer to look at the broader conditions that support a nervous system's capacity to regulate.

In Deep Release Therapy (DRT), I organise these around six foundations: Safety, Attachment, Authenticity, Connection, Agency and Rhythm.

Each foundation gives us a different way of understanding what may support the nervous system — and some simple practices through which you can begin exploring this for yourself.

First, what do we mean by nervous system regulation?

Anxiety is often experienced as a problem of the mind. Thoughts race, we anticipate what might go wrong, replay conversations, worry about the future or become preoccupied with physical sensations.

But anxiety is also experienced through the body.

You may notice your heart beating faster, your breathing becoming shallow, your jaw tightening, a sensation in your chest or stomach, restlessness, difficulty concentrating or an inability to settle into sleep.

The autonomic nervous system is continually responding to information from both inside and outside the body. Its job is not to keep us calm all the time. We need activation to move, concentrate, respond to challenges, protect ourselves and take action.

Regulation is therefore not about achieving a permanently calm state. It is about flexibility: being able to move into activation when life requires it and having the capacity to return towards rest, connection and recovery afterwards.

When anxiety becomes persistent, that flexibility can become more difficult. We may remain activated long after a stressful experience has passed, react strongly to uncertainty or perceived threat, or find that our mind and body remain alert even when we desperately want to switch off.

This is why I prefer to think beyond the question, “Which tool will make my anxiety stop?”

A more useful question can be:

“What supports my nervous system's capacity to regulate?”

This is where the Six Foundations come in.

Foundation One: Safety

Helping the nervous system experience moments in which it can lower its guard

Safety is not simply knowing intellectually that you are safe.

You can be sitting on your couch, with nothing threatening happening around you, while your heart races and your mind searches for something to worry about. The thinking mind may understand that everything is okay while the body remains alert.

One of the first things we can begin doing is noticing where, when and how the body already experiences greater ease.

Try this:

Place one hand over the area where you notice anxiety most strongly. Rather than immediately trying to change the sensation, notice it.

Take three slower breaths through your nose and allow the breath to travel a little deeper into your body.

Stay with the sensations in your body, breathing into them. Let the intensity evaporate. With every exhale, you consciously release tention from the body.

Then notice the seat or floor beneath you, notice the support from the earth, and allow yourself to surrender to gravity a little bit more….

What changes?

Perhaps the sensation softens. Perhaps your breathing changes. Perhaps you notice something you hadn't noticed before.

You can also spend five or ten minutes somewhere your body already tends to settle. This can be physically or imaginary. This might be on the couch with an animal you love, lying in bed, sitting in the grass, sitting on the beach, standing on top of a hill or resting somewhere familiar.

Notice the sounds, temperature, light, smells, wind and the feeling of whatever is supporting your body.

Then notice yourself. Notice how your body feels in this safe space. Repeat this as much as you want to get the nervous system more familiar with feeling safety in the body.

Foundation Two: Attachment

Helping the nervous system experience reliable connection and unconditional love

Human beings regulate in relationship.

From our earliest experiences onwards, other people can influence our physiological state through voice, facial expression, attention, touch, responsiveness and presence.

This continues throughout adulthood.

Think about the difference between talking to somebody who is distracted and talking to somebody who is fully present with you. Or the physical experience of being around someone you trust compared with someone around whom you feel you have to monitor yourself.

Our relationships affect us.

Try this:

Close your eyes and imagine a screen in front of you. One by one, allow people you love and trust to appear. Be open to receive the love they have for you. And then notice your body.

Does your breathing change?

Do you smile?

Does your chest soften?

Do you feel warmth somewhere?

Do you feel sadness welling up?

Reflect to yourself what it feels like to receive, to be loved and to feel supported.

Try this:

You could also experiment with self-compassion. Healing only starts when you are able to be compassionate towards yourself. So check in with yourself and the narratives you tell yourself. Are you kind to yourself? Or, are you constantly telling yourself you are not good enough. If this is the case, keep catching yourself. And change the narrative:

“You are good enough.”

“You always do your best and that is enough.”

“You deserve to be loved.”

“You deserve to feel supported”

“You are a generous and caring person, and you deserve to feel loved”.

Stop allowing yourself to be mean to yourself. Would you talk like that to your best friend? Become your own best friend.

Foundation Three: Authenticity

Helping the nervous system discover that it can be safe to be yourself

For many people with anxiety, a considerable amount of energy goes into monitoring the world around them.

What does everybody else need?

Is someone upset with me?

Should I say something?

What if they disagree?

Am I disappointing someone?

We can become so practised at adapting that we stop noticing our own response.

Authenticity is not about saying everything we think or disregarding other people's needs. It is about maintaining a relationship with ourselves while we are in relationship with others. It is about being able to express ourselves, our needs, our feelings, our boundaries, without guilt or shame.

Try this:

Notice the next time you automatically say yes to something.

Before responding, pause and ask:

“What do I actually want?”

You don't necessarily have to act on the answer. Begin by noticing whether you can hear it.

You might also pay attention to moments when your body and your words appear to be saying different things. Perhaps you hear yourself saying, “That's fine,” while your stomach contracts. Or you agree to something and immediately feel tension across your shoulders.

The body can sometimes register our experience before we have consciously acknowledged it.

Ask:

Where or with whom in my life do I feel most able to be myself?

Where do I edit, suppress or override myself?

Foundation Four: Connection

Reconnecting with yourself, your body and the world around you

The foundation of Connection is your connectedness with yourself, your body, your community and nature or the earth as a whole. Connectedness with the present moment.

Modern life gives us extraordinary amounts of stimulation. We can wake up and immediately look at a screen, spend the day processing information, work indoors, move between tasks and finish the evening absorbing still more information.

The nervous system is receiving input constantly, while our awareness of our own body and physical environment can become increasingly faint.

Try this:

Spend some time outside without turning it into another task. Just lie down and look up.

Go for a walk without headphones.

Sit beside the ocean and watch the waves and the sounds.

Put your hands into the soil.

Lie in the grass.

Listen to the birds.

Swim in a natural body of water.

Watch the changing light.

Notice something beautiful and stay with it for a little longer than you normally would.

Pay attention to sensory information: sound, temperature, movement, smell, texture and space. Sensory input takes you back into the present moment.

Then notice whether anything changes internally.

Ask: When do I feel most connected to myself and to life around me?

The answer will be different for everyone. What matters is discovering what brings you back into contact with yourself and your environment.

Foundation Five: Agency

Learning to recognise what you need and respond to it

Agency is the experience of having choice and influence in our own lives.

Anxiety can narrow that experience considerably. We can become focused on what we have to do, what might happen, what other people expect or what we believe we should be able to manage.

For people who have spent years prioritising responsibility or other people's needs, even identifying a personal need can feel surprisingly difficult.

Try asking yourself:

“What does my nervous system need from me today?”

Then give yourself enough time to hear or feel the answer.

Perhaps you need movement.

Perhaps you need rest.

Perhaps you need company.

Perhaps you need space.

Perhaps you need to cry.

Perhaps there is a conversation you need to have.

Perhaps you need to change a plan.

Perhaps you simply need twenty minutes in which nobody needs anything from you.

Agency can be practised in small ways: expressing a preference, asking for help, changing your mind, saying no, choosing rest when you recognise exhaustion or making a decision based on your actual capacity rather than your expectations of yourself.

Ask: Where in my life can I create more choice? Where can I make small changes to create a life that suits my needs?

Listening to ourselves is one thing. Learning that we can respond to what we hear is another.

Foundation Six: Rhythm

Supporting the biological rhythms that help regulate the nervous system

The nervous system exists within a biological body, and our biology is profoundly rhythmic.

We have approximately 24-hour circadian rhythms that influence sleep and waking, alertness, body temperature, hormone secretion, appetite and many other physiological processes. Light and darkness are particularly important signals for our internal timing system, while the timing of activity, food and other daily behaviours can also contribute to our biological rhythms.

This is one reason I consider rhythm particularly important when working with both anxiety and insomnia.

Rhythm does not mean creating a rigid schedule or doing everything perfectly.

It means giving the body some degree of predictability.

Begin by observing:

When do you wake?

When do you get up?

When do you first get outside into daylight?

Are your meals reasonably consistent?

When does your body naturally have energy?

When does it ask for rest?

How much movement is part of your day?

What happens during the hour before you sleep?

When do you go to bed?

Our circadian system is strongly influenced by the light-dark cycle, and evening artificial light can alter circadian timing and sleep. Sleep-wake patterns are also interconnected with other daily biological rhythms, including body temperature, hormone secretion and eating patterns.

Ask: Which rhythms in my life currently support me? Which have become disrupted?

The aim is not perfection. It is helping the body receive clearer signals about activity, nourishment, recovery and sleep. Create a routine that you love, so that it is easier to maintain.

You don't need to practise all six

Reading an article about anxiety can very quickly become another list of things you think you should be doing. That isn't the purpose of these Six Foundations. In fact, I do not allow ‘should’ in my clients’ vocabulary!

Instead, notice which one caught your attention. Perhaps you immediately recognised that your life has very little rhythm.

Perhaps the question “What do I actually want?” felt unexpectedly difficult.

Perhaps you realised you spend almost no time outside without your phone.

Perhaps you are very good at supporting other people but uncomfortable receiving support yourself.

Or perhaps you realised that you rarely notice your body until anxiety has become overwhelming.

Start there.

Choose one Foundation and one small practice and become curious about what you notice. The observation matters as much as the practice. You might discover that three slower breaths help you notice how much tension you have been holding in your jaw. You might discover that you automatically say yes before you have even considered what you want. You might realise that your body settles considerably when you are outside. You might notice that your anxiety increases after several days of disrupted sleep and routine. You might recognise that one particular relationship consistently changes the way you feel in your body.

Practical tools can support us.

Understanding can take us further.

There is absolutely a place for practical tools for anxiety. Sometimes we need something we can do in the moment. Breath, movement, sensory awareness, nature, connection, rest and rhythm can all offer ways of supporting ourselves.

But I don't believe the goal is to become dependent on an ever-growing toolbox of techniques every time anxiety appears.

The deeper work is learning about your nervous system.

What activates it?

What helps it settle?

Where do you override yourself?

What happens in relationships?

How much choice do you experience?

What does your body communicate before your mind catches up?

And sometimes another question begins to emerge:

Why does my nervous system respond this way?

That is where practical support can begin to meet deeper inquiry. A tight chest during conflict may tell us something. An inability to say no may tell us something. Becoming highly activated by uncertainty may tell us something. Feeling anxious whenever we stop being busy may tell us something.

We do not need to analyse every sensation or assume that every response originates in childhood. But we can become curious about the experiences, beliefs, emotions and adaptations that may be influencing how we respond today.

This is an important aspect of the way I work through Deep Release Therapy (DRT). The practical work supports the nervous system's capacity. The deeper inquiry helps us understand what the nervous system is communicating and why particular patterns may have developed.

And the two can work alongside one another.

Because ultimately, working with anxiety is about more than knowing how to calm yourself when you become activated.

It is about knowing yourself.

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Anxiety Therapy and Nervous System Regulation in Christchurch

I work with anxiety and insomnia through Deep Release Therapy (DRT) at Project Pure – Anxiety + Insomnia Clinic in Sumner, Christchurch.

DRT combines nervous system regulation, psycho-somatic therapy and deeper inquiry. The work looks beyond anxiety as an isolated symptom and considers the broader patterns and experiences that may be influencing the nervous system, while developing greater capacity for regulation in everyday life.

If you are experiencing anxiety, overthinking, physical tension, hyper-vigilance or difficulty sleeping and would like to understand what may be happening beneath the symptoms, you can contact Project Pure to arrange a free 30-minute consultation.

Annelies Basten, MPsych

Nervous System & Psycho-Somatic Therapy

Project Pure – Anxiety + Insomnia Clinic

Sumner, Christchurch, New Zealand